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Sep. 7th, 2008

(no subject)

Oh hey guys. I need a job. Preferably in Chicago. If anybody knows of anything I can do, please let me know, because I'd love to do it, and get paid, and just puttin this out there, for the universe, because I believe that The Secret has merit...I'd love to work in Mayor Daley's office. Um. yes.


XOXO
N

Jun. 13th, 2008

To every season, turn, turn.

I feel like I have not written a definitive graduation post. However, I did look at my entries from 2004, HF's graduation, and I must say the parties were more fun. I wish I could sum up everything I've learned in college. I sometimes wish I could look back at those entries and see a completely different person. Maybe for the amount of money I am indebted, I could at least have become an adult, or something. But to be honest...I'm the same. Oh sure I've grown. I've matured. But at my core, I'm the same girl. 2004 was a time of change for me, and I reacted in many of the same ways I am reacting now. I got a little sad, I tried to have fun, I spent time with my friends, but at the end of the day, I knew that regardless of circumstances, the show must go on. I think i was a little more hyper and melodramatic, but at 18, who isn't? 4 years later, I merely know how better to stand up for me, how to pay bills, and more than ever, that I don't need validation to live how I'd like to. I am not going to let somebody else rationalize behavior I know is wrong. I'm not going to go along with something because I can pretend I was too naive. I know better, and more importantly, I'm aware I know better, and that has to be evident in my choices. I know that Ravisloe wasn't a fluke, I am a hard worker, and my feet show it. I know that I am still a procrastinator, still like doing things the hard way if they don't require a direct confrontation of a task... I feel like in 4 years, between Lauren, Evelyn, Steve, Mary Kate, my parents, my grandfather, etc. etc. I've been through a lot, and I am sure there is someday more to come. But hopefully I've learned as much as I can from these things.

On an ending note, I should say, that despite changing, and complicated lives, breakups, meltdowns, fights, ignored calls, etc. etc. The girls that I left at the airport to get on a plane, are still the first ones I call when the shit really hits the fan. For the most part, I feel you guys are more aware of what is happening in my mind and what I'm going to do next than pretty much anyone. Thank you for sticking with me, despite where we go now, I trust that making it through 4 years of being apart, the rest is easy.

Love always
Nikki

May. 13th, 2008

reflections.

4 years.

Things I've learned being in college (grown-up?) and living in Arizona(hot!)

Feel free to add:

1. Sometimes you just need to be happy that you are getting $34.00 back and not think about the fact that you ate $80.00 on a book you barely opened.

2. Oh, and this comes with a CD that is packaged inside the book wrapped in plastic. You just bought a book with a built in coaster. The LEAST they could do is give me a blank one and let me burn a dvd or something.

3. In life, it is not that wrong to base living decisions on audio-video equipment needs.

4. Margarita's are not blended. Ever. Ever.

5. When you order something with tequila in it, it needs to specify which type, as well as its property; blanco, anejo, etc.

6. Immigration is a big deal. Whether or not you are Republican.

7. I'm glad we were raised in an age where people owned personal computers, and I can work an iPhone if I had to, I enjoy my Ipod and I use Alan's Sonicare brush nearly nightly, but I'm starting to get a creepy feeling that technology is catching up to us...and soon we'll be struggling to keep up with it. Anybody?

8. No. I don't smoke. Yes, I've slept with less then five people. No, I'm not lying. I promise. (every time I go to campus health)

9. Hoodies are not to be worn out at night. Here, we can wear them all day every day, but you might as well push a shopping cart that you stole from target around after dusk if you're gonna rock a hoodie.

10. The only exception to this is sporting events held at night, in which you wear college insignia.

11. Some people actually welcome babies.

12. Enjoy it while it lasts. Always.

Apr. 10th, 2008

April 10

Every April 10th I've posted in this journal. At least the last three. Last April 10th I gave blood and fainted for the first time. It would not be the last. Since that day 365 days ago I have fainted 2 more times and come incredibly close almost making 3. I have also realized that it is quickly becoming my body's go-to action. If I'm stressed? I faint. If I'm tired? I faint. As you can imagine, walking on hard pavement has become quite terrifying.

Mar. 9th, 2008

(no subject)

I equate "Well I didn't know it was that bad for me" (while downing 60ounces of pasta drenched in alfredo sauce) is VERY similar to girls who are in college, with college clinics, and a planned pregnancy clinic around every corner explaining that they "got pregnant". Its throwing an egg on the floor then claiming that it jumped out of your hand. OK America.

But I'm starting to think...I feel I'm pretty knowledgable about food, whats good, whats bad. I know that eating out isn't the best option. That a whole chocolate cake has calories in it. That Claimjumper Country Fried Steak isn't great for your arteries...but even I feel like I am being a little hoodwinked sometimes. California is mandating that every restaurant have nutritional information on the menus. This means that Claimjumpers in Cali will have to have that information. Now, it is important to note, that in three years I have asked everybody I have seen in that restaurant about nutritional information. EVERY SINGLE PERSON no matter how high up the food chain, has played dumb. Not only this, but when I googled it, I found out that there is a ton of animosity towards CJ because they aggressivly hide their calorie info. I'm starting to think that I'm working for the devil. Yes, grilled salmon is better than fried cheese, and most people probably know that, but our full portion of black tie pasta has 2,800 calories in it. Its blackened chicken, alfredo sauce, bow tie pasta and spinach tortellini. You may think its bad for you, or a splurge or whatever, but would anybody here really guess its way over your entire daily allowance?

It sorta makes me sick.

Feb. 27th, 2008

22 so far

This morning Kristin texted me at 5:39am my time to wish me Happy Birthday, because she was getting up to go student teach. At the same time I woke up to look at it, I smelled fresh flowers and Burberry Cologne. Instantly I thought Alan was in my room (he wears Burberry cologne), but I looked around, texted her back and sorta dozed back off. I kept waking up to smell flowers though, and so I looked around my room and thought I was tripping out. When I finally opened my door, I had a huge bouquet of flowers, a fresh strawberry pie ( a weakness of mine) and a little Unicorn stuffed animal (they call me a unicorn here...different story) which had been sprayed at least twice by my boyfriend so that it smelled like him. I'm in love. 22 has been great so far.


XOXO
Nikki



PS-technically this time 22 years ago I was still in utero. I was born at 3:48pm Indiana time. So until then, I'll keep chillin as a 21yr old.

Feb. 26th, 2008

another yearrrrr

So. I'm going to be 22 in 61 minutes. I can't say I feel all that older. I mean, a ton has changed since this time last year, and I think, most for the better. But i don't know what feeling older would feel like. I have started to pull out of the three year negative period that was my last relationship. I feel like a lot of me was lost, and a lot of that was my fault...but no matter, I will get my whole self back. I'm coming, the happy-go-lucky silly ham is coming back albeit slowly. 22 is going to be a great year. I can tell. Thanks for being there friendlies...



<3
Nikki

Dec. 5th, 2007

(no subject)

I need to get the hell up out of here.

Sep. 17th, 2007

(no subject)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG





I need to fix this.

Aug. 21st, 2007

(no subject)

you take so much school. you take so much. Lord. I feel like I ran a marathon today. I marathon of trying to get into classes and working my ass off to run my biz all around campus from 9am to 6pm. Annoying. I am sick of this. Glad to be graduating, but hesitant too. Ech. I think I'm going to make a pie thingy.




Alls well.

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