On an ending note, I should say, that despite changing, and complicated lives, breakups, meltdowns, fights, ignored calls, etc. etc. The girls that I left at the airport to get on a plane, are still the first ones I call when the shit really hits the fan. For the most part, I feel you guys are more aware of what is happening in my mind and what I'm going to do next than pretty much anyone. Thank you for sticking with me, despite where we go now, I trust that making it through 4 years of being apart, the rest is easy.
I feel like I have not written a definitive graduation post. However, I did look at my entries from 2004, HF's graduation, and I must say the parties were more fun. I wish I could sum up everything I've learned in college. I sometimes wish I could look back at those entries and see a completely different person. Maybe for the amount of money I am indebted, I could at least have become an adult, or something. But to be honest...I'm the same. Oh sure I've grown. I've matured. But at my core, I'm the same girl. 2004 was a time of change for me, and I reacted in many of the same ways I am reacting now. I got a little sad, I tried to have fun, I spent time with my friends, but at the end of the day, I knew that regardless of circumstances, the show must go on. I think i was a little more hyper and melodramatic, but at 18, who isn't? 4 years later, I merely know how better to stand up for me, how to pay bills, and more than ever, that I don't need validation to live how I'd like to. I am not going to let somebody else rationalize behavior I know is wrong. I'm not going to go along with something because I can pretend I was too naive. I know better, and more importantly, I'm aware I know better, and that has to be evident in my choices. I know that Ravisloe wasn't a fluke, I am a hard worker, and my feet show it. I know that I am still a procrastinator, still like doing things the hard way if they don't require a direct confrontation of a task... I feel like in 4 years, between Lauren, Evelyn, Steve, Mary Kate, my parents, my grandfather, etc. etc. I've been through a lot, and I am sure there is someday more to come. But hopefully I've learned as much as I can from these things.